But having goals and achieving goals could not be more different. Anyone can say they want to do something. Actually doing it, on the other hand, is the true sign of success. We all know big talkers in life that brag about their plans, yet mysteriously as time goes by, those plans never come to fruition.

I hope this post helps you prevent the “I would have, but…” syndrome. And instead help you crush your goals. So without further ado, five things to consider for goal success:

1. Make Them Attainable

The first step in achieving our goals is being honest. Most people would love a private island and yacht, but if you’re struggling to make rent, is it reasonable to believe those are – at least in the short-run – attainable goals? Probably not. But creating enough extra cash flow to pay off a credit card or to visit one new country is well within anyone’s reach.

And just to be clear, I’m a huge proponent of shooting for the moon with goals. However, this article is “how-to achieve your goals,” not “hopefully, maybe, possibly one-day capture your goals.”

When setting goals we must look at what we can truthfully achieve. Shooting for the moon will not always land you amongst the stars.

2. Have a Roadmap

Creating a roadmap to achieving your goals should be at the forefront of the entire process. Saying you want to increase your income threefold is great and all. But how are you going to do it? Without a plan to succeed, you will never succeed. There is no magical goal fairy that visits you at night. Reaching a goal is up to you and only you.

When it comes to bigger goals, I like to use the concept of chunking. By deconstructing the goal into manageable parts, days, and milestones, the steps towards success become easier. Essentially, chunking goals will eleviate stress and prevent those horribly overwhelming I-want-to-sleep-all-day feelings.

Most importantly, your roadmap should have specific dates attached to when these goals are to be achieved. This will further keep you focused

3. Write Your Goals Down

Simply thinking about your goals will not do you any good. You must see them on paper before you set out to achieve your goals. Without writing them down your brain will continually overlook the goal. Or worse, suppress it. But by seeing the goal in ink, your brain can formally process it.

The important concept to keep in mind here is to write the goals in the present tense. For example, “July 12th: I am in Italy for a month.” Not, “I will be in Italy on July 12th.” This will help you put yourself in the moment, instead of in the distant future.

Update: Another great point to add here, thanks to Srini in the comments (p.s. his blog is a must read):

Be sure to also write down what action(s) you took each day as it will help you stay on task and continually ensure you are on the right path. This is based on Zig Ziglar’s work.

4. Read Them Every Morning & Night

Constantly reminding yourself of the goals you set forth is extremely necessary. What good is a goal if you put it aside, barely giving it a second thought after you initially write it down?

By reading your goals before and after you sleep, you will keep focused on your goals. And if at all possible, read them out loud for stronger mental reinforcement.

5. Post Pictures

Above and beyond writing down your goals, hanging visual representations on your wall, at your desk, and anywhere else you commonly are located is very important.

The ability to imagine yourself enjoying that golf club membership, wearing that bikini, or sailing along the coastline is the most powerful motivator you have in your goal achieving tool belt.

Personally, I have an Aston Martin as the background of my computer and cell phone. I want the car and its purchase will be a symbolic step in my entrepreneurial life, so with me seeing it constantly, I repeatedly get to visualize myself sitting in it.

Bonus: 6. Just Do It

Life’s hard. It’s easy to give up. Don’t.

Everyday, do at least one thing that brings you closer to your goals and dreams. Soon you’ll be doing two a day, then three things a day. Suddenly, you’ll find freedom. You’ll find happiness. You’ll find yourself surrounded by family and friends who love you. Your life will be better.

We all have the ability to do something amazing. The deciding factor though, is actually doing it. By following these guidelines for achieving goals you’ll have an amazing chance of succeeding. I wish you the best of luck in 2012!

Already doing these tips? Do you have any success stories you’d like to share?

Most people don’t understand me. My friends no longer get me. And my extended family often believes that by me not “working,” I’m wasting my life away.

Ah, if you’ve chosen an alternative path for your life, those statements probably ring all too close to home. But who cares? It’s your life.

But unfortunately, our society has adopted preconceived notions of a normal life. And the crippling assumptions continue to snowball amongst most circles.

Built on false pretenses, their advice on what life entails falls short of what’s possible.

Of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.
~ Mark Twain

The only reason most people think they need a job, is because someone told them so. The only reason most people think they need a nice house and a fast car, is because that’s what others have. And the only reason most people settle for less, is because everyone else does.

Live YOUR Life!

As you live outside of societal norms, forget what the critics say. There is never a shortage of critics. But remember, critics are supposed to criticize, let them live in their boring little safety bubble, while you go out and do remarkable things.

The reality of life is clear: Your life is whatever and however YOU choose to live.

So make your life the best damn life imaginable!

Have you ever had one of those days? You know, those days that kept you active from 8 in the morning til 6 at night. You were super busy. But looking back at the day, it was filled with mundane tasks. And while you felt eventful, in reality you didn’t accomplish anything.

I’ve had these types of days. I’m assuming you have too.

I call this, working for work’s sake. And it’s the murderer of an enjoyable life.

Learning from Rocks, Pebbles, & Sand

Before we start this visualization, list your tasks from most to least important. Then associate these with rocks, pebbles, and sand. The biggest rock being the most important task. And sand being the minutiae. Also, let’s imagine a jar as your day, timeframe, or project timeline.

Now let’s craft these two scenarios:

Scenario 1: Starting with Sand

Filling a jar with the sand first is easy. It falls right in. But what about the pebbles and rocks? The pebbles still fit but when it comes time to add the larger stones, the task becomes practically impossible. The jar overflows and the biggest rocks do not fit.

Put In Other Words:
Small, unimportant tasks are attractive. They are easy to complete. And are usually the most enjoyable. But can consume your day.

Starting with the easier tasks may make the day more fun. But at the end of the day, your most important work is left largely untouched. Pushed back until tomorrow. Knowing all to well, tomorrow never truly comes.

Scenario 2: Starting with Rocks

Adding the biggest rocks first is hard. You have to look at their size and figure the best plan of attack for fitting them all in. It’s a struggle to piece them together, but it’s possible.

And then comes the pebbles. The jar needs to be shaken occasionally. But they fit.

Finally, the sand can be dumped in. Easily, the sand slides between the rocks and pebbles. Magically, the rocks and pebbles as well as all of the sand now fits into the jar.

Put In Other Words:
Your most important tasks are usually the most taxing. They require additional brainpower. Or they may be the least enjoyable. But these tasks are also the most productive and profitable.

In this strategy, the mid and low priority tasks are put by the wayside. Confronting them only if there is time. And as a result, your day will be amazingly successful.

Conclusion

Every time you are faced with a large work load, remember:

Rocks first, pebbles second and if there is time, fill your jar with sand.

These damn words. Seemingly harmless when muttered, are slowly eroding away your individuality.

And whether we know it or not, we all say these words out of habit when we are with other people.

From simple choices of where you want to eat… to more meaningful decisions of locations you’d like to travel to or sights you’d like to visit.

And from an exploration standpoint, these three words will ruin a trip.

So what are they?

“I DON’T CARE”

These words are killing your uniqueness. And will kill your potential experiences.

It usually goes like this:

Friend: “So where do you want to go?”

You: “I don’t care.”

Are you sure? Do you really not care? Have you no opinions?

Most likely yes if the following statement is true:

“I’m a mindless drone, living life with others making decisions for me.”

Sounds harsh, doesn’t it? But it’s a reality.

However, I hope that this statement is false. And I’m going to assume that you enjoy thinking for yourself. So read on…

The Perils of Groupthink

Unfortunately, there is a phenomenon in social psychology called groupthink. And it destroys group travels.

When making choices amongst a group we believe leaving decisions up to others is being polite. That we are playing friendly. And worse still, that we are avoiding conflict.

But it’s not true. Groupthink is hurting your life experiences.

The cure for groupthink?

Stop being passive! It’s not being demanding. It’s not being unruly. It’s about voicing your opinion and leaving the choice up for debate.

But without a “care” there is no debate to begin with.

Personally, I’d rather entertain an idea that is overruled, than never voice it at all. And I hope you’d want the same.

Your Homework

The next time a friend asks you where you’d like to eat, say a specific place. Don’t give a few options. Don’t ask them what they would want. And especially, do not say that you don’t care… Say exactly what you want.

After a few times of voicing a specific opinion you’ll begin to love group decisions.

Remember: There’s a huge disparity between living a care-free life and having no input.

We all have dreams and desires of a better life – of goals of doing more.

Unfortunately, we often find ourselves struggling to achieve these goals. And instead, fall into the trap of overwhelming despair.

The bigger the goals, the easier it is to be overwhelmed.

Currently as I write this, it’s been happening to me. I occasionally find myself waking up to anxiety attacks fueled by overwhelmed thoughts and notions.

I guess it’s rightfully so…

Between operating a handful of businesses, launching an education company, building my professional speaking career, and starting the early stages of writing a book – all while being homeless – life is a little daunting right now, yikes!

But it’s still not acceptable. This is a product of my own doing and this constant struggle to achieve all my goals must change.

So I’ve been backtracking mentally into how I once was able to handle many projects and tasks simultaneously… I’ve been doing this business stuff for over a decade now, and I know it’s possible to accomplish anything when putting your mind to it.

And after much reflection, I’ve re-discovered my magic formula for achieving my goals:

Chunking the Impossible?

If you look at your goals from a birds-eye view, everything you wish to do will seem overwhelming.

And this big picture viewpoint is often how we normally see our goals. It’s human nature.

“I have to do all of that…”
“I’ve got to finish all of this…”
“I need to complete all of it…”

But we live our lives day by day. Each day is a new day.

So why not break down our projects, tasks, and goals in a similar manner?

Every project isn’t a 1-to-1 ratio wherein completion results from one big step.

Instead, projects have many steps and many actionable items that eventually results in completion.

Therefore, as you look at your goals, it’s important to realize there are many steps to achieve your goals. Not one grandiose action. But a series of small victories.

And there’s the golden ticket:

To achieve any goal, you must break down the process into many small attainable victories called chunks.

The easier you can accomplish the victory, the quicker these chunks will add up to extraordinary levels of achievement in life.

Ultimately, you can now make impossible goals, possible.

Remember: Anything is possible…

Good luck chunking down your goals!

We all have disagreements. It’s inevitable. But understanding how to civilly solve them is often lost in the mix. So let’s take a look at exactly what a dispute is – in example form:

Imagine you and I are standing face-to-face and someone else holds a hand up between us.

With the palm towards you, they ask you to describe it. I’d assume you would have an easy time. You’d see all of the intricacies of the hand. The love line, the childhood scars, everything.

Now, what if they ask you to describe the back of their hand? With their palm still towards you, it would be impossible. You can assume they have fingernails, knuckles and such. But you wouldn’t see the tiny details. It’s facing me and only I can describe it. And until you were able to see the back of the hand, you’d have no idea what I see. Nor could I tell you what the palm looks like.

We are both looking at a hand, yet we both see something completely different.

The moral of the story here is that when we have a disagreement with someone, we must realize that we are simply seeing a different angle of the same problem.

So remember…

You’re looking at the same hand. How can you see the other side?

Newsflash: Turns out we are generally a lazy species.

Which you’ll shortly see is good news for those looking to switch out a bad habit for a better habit.

I recently finished reading Shawn Achor’s excellent book, The Happiness Advantage and I found a very intriguing concept. A concept that’s only 20 seconds in practice. Yet can change your life.

The 20 Second Rule

We all have a vice we’d like to exchange for a better alternative. It may be grabbing that cookie instead of a handful of celery. Or it may be plunking down in front of the TV instead of reading. Whatever it may be, there’s hope.

Shawn described how a cafeteria could reduce the consumption of unhealthy snacks by moving the ice cream cooler further from the lunch line. Or increase the chances of reading a book by placing it next to the TV remote and moving the remote’s batteries into the next room.

To explain further, when you make your bad habit harder to do while making the good habit easier, you are much more likely to take the easy route.

The golden rule is to make your vice 20 seconds away, while making your good habit immediately available.

A few possibilities that come to mind:

Want to start working out in the morning? Get creative with the locations of your equipment, gear and shoes.

Looking to stop eating unhealthy snacks? Place the treats on the furthest, highest shelf.

Been wishing to only watch TV on the weekends? Unplug the HDMI cable in back.

Need to escape from work at night? Leave the Blackberry and work laptop in the furthest room.

Tired of wasting your day on distracting websites? Use this plugin for Firefox to block sites and require extra steps to access them.

To Conclude

While this may seem like a simple idea, I hope this will help you change some of your habits. Good luck!

Do you have any examples or experiences you’d like to share?

We all want to be successful. It’s a given. But unfortunately most people find themselves staring at a glass ceiling. Unable to leap to the next levels in their careers and life, forever locked into their current scenario.

Why is this?

While I cannot make sweeping conclusions, nor assume everyone can become successful. A majority of people are lacking in the ability to sell. And I’m not saying they cannot sell real estate or life insurance. They fail to sell their ideas.

Think about this for a moment:

When you call a coworker for immediate action to support your project, what are you doing? Selling your need for help.

When you plead with your kids to eat their green beans, what are you doing? Selling the benefits of green beans.

Or most importantly, when you approach your boss for a raise or promotion, what are you doing? Selling yourself.

But alas, those who disagree with the need for sales skills relate the skill to a used car salesman. Something that’s far too sleazy and dubious in nature. “It’s not for me” I hear people say when I recommend sales books.

However, since you are reading my blog, I have faith in you. You have already taken the first step. You understand the need for continual self-improvement. My goal with this post is to give some guidance to those who haven’t thought to deeply into this concept before. So here it is, my recommended reading for improving your ability to sell your ideas:

The Secret of Power Negotiation by Roger Dawson – The first step in improving your selling ability is negotiation. Period.

Influence by Robert B. Cialdini – The second step in understanding how to sell, is understanding people. Anyone that knows me knows I obsess about psychology. There’s a reason; I understand the science behind business and social conventions – an important life skill.

SPIN Selling by Neil Rackman – A book I’ve recommended a dozen times already on this blog. Technically, this book is for multi-stage selling of products and services to business accounts. But I interpret the concepts differently. If you read the book thinking the product is your idea and the business account is your potential “idea buyer,” you will learn some amazing sales techniques.

These three books will instantly give a huge boost in your selling abilities.

To Summarize

It doesn’t matter if you are an accountant, a parent or an entrepreneur. You must be able to sell yourself and your ideas.

What do you think? Do you have any recommendations on where we should learn how to sell?

As winter rolls around, we will all face it at some time or another… we’re bound to become SAD, or as smarter-people than I say it, Seasonal Affective Disorder.

And while long-term depression is a rough road, usually impossible to cure yourself, it is possible to quickly boost your spirits short-term.

The Happiness Boost

We all have memories in our lives that we may never forget. An experience filled with supreme ecstasy. It may have been the birth of a child, a family vacation, moving into your first home or, in my case, the purchase of your first car in high school.

We remember the moment like it was yesterday. And while thinking about that extremely joyous time, it’s almost impossible not to smile.

But guess what also happens when we take a few minutes to sit and reflect on those happy memories? Our brain becomes entrenched in those feelings. And all sorts of happy chemicals are released, just as if you had been there in person. It’s a beautiful thing.

What do you think?

Reflecting on a happier time is the easiest method I have found for instantly boosting the feel good juices. Have you developed any cool methods for instant happiness?

Don’t you love having a chat with someone who leaves a lasting impression on you? You know, the kind of convo that makes you think, “Wow, I thoroughly enjoyed talking with that person.” Well, I’m willing to bet that you overlooked the reoccurring theme in these chats:

Think back to your last great conversation. Now ask yourself, who did most of the talking? Contrary to what you may remember, it’s most likely YOU who talked the most. Not them.

In general, a great conversationalist is usually not the dominant talker in the group. But rather it is the person who asks the questions, listens and responds intelligently to the topic.

They control the direction of the conversation with their questions. All while accurately and intelligently chiming in only when the chat warrants. Put in other words, they know when to add their two cents and when to keep quiet.

And this method unequivocally works because anyone with a pulse loves to talk about themselves and the stuff they are passionate about.

Trying This At Home

Caveat: This relatively simple concept is easy in theory. But come time to apply this questioning technique, it no longer seems like child play. Trust me. Asking open-ended-questions on something that may not be of any interest to you is hard. Oftentimes, it may be downright boring listening to another’s interests. However, a little initial intrigue into people’s passions is essential to becoming a great conversationalist. And if you truly begin to feel the other side’s enthusiasm, the topic will quickly become rather interesting.

For Instance:

I once had a 20-minute chat with a guy I just met at a networking event… the conversation was mostly about his new precious cell phone. Being a tech geek myself, I had already seen the phone in use and knew a decent amount about it. So it would have been easy to dismiss a conversation about the phone. But I could tell he was extremely interested in his new toy. Therefore, I used my knowledge of the product to ask intelligent questions with more precise follow-up questions. And quickly the conversation turned into a pretty good techie-bonding session. (However, it’s important to point out I never once flattered him.)

Not surprisingly, I left that talk with a greater appreciation for the features of that phone. But more importantly, I gained a new acquaintance. And to this day, he still talks to others about how they must meet me.

In short, I’ve gotten numerous leads from the glowing referrals of a person I spent about 25 seconds (of that 20 minute chat) telling him I did marketing consulting. And more remarkable still, this isn’t a rare occurrence. As anyone who follows these principles could tell you; this stuff - without fail - works!

Quick Tips on Becoming A Great Conversationalist:

• Ask open-ended-questions about the passions and interests of the other person.
• Listen intently and take mental notes of what has been said.
• Become generally interested in what the other person has to say.
• While the urge may be strong to talk about yourself, stay focused on them.
• Eye contact is key. But too much will weird them out.
• A genuine smile can soften up anyone, even the most curmudgeonly.
• Body language will subconsciously display your true level of interest in the current topic. e.g. crossed arms vs. at your side, leaning back vs. forward, etc.
• Remember: Everyone enjoys a compliment but no one likes flattery.
• End the conversation on a good note to ensure a great lasting memory.

To Summarize

In order to become a great conversationalist, you must first become a great listener as well as a great questioner. The actual conversing part is just a natural side effect of these two abilities.